


A Glimpse of Heaven

by bloodyjae



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: F/M, Gen, hanbin is love, i miss hanbin, reposting because i miss him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:28:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28206855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodyjae/pseuds/bloodyjae
Summary: First love is hard, rush, and unforgettable.For Jaeshin, it's unttainable, a glimpse of heaven.For Kim Hanbin, it's waiting.
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Reader
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

To love is a glimpse of heaven. He said and i believed it.

Because every time we bumps into each other in the hallway, I would smile all day. Like an idiot.

DIARY OF JUNG JAESHIN.

Middle School.

My name is Jaeshin. Jung Jaeshin. Class 2. You can always call me Jae or Jaeshin for long name. I have a crush in my class called Kim Hanbin. Perfectionist long leg dude that sit in front me, i like him to max, but i hate the fact that he actually sits there because i barely see anything written on the green board, i need to like stand up for many times a day just to see and copy all those things.

He is like a boy that would do anything for you. He is, i thought. But never did i know if he had a girlfriend. All i know he has a bunch of idiots as friend, i mean not really idiots but dorks, crazy dudes that are pretty well, handsome and okay. The boy that sit beside him named Kim Jiwon and i swear he would sleep all day in class and still urgh, stay cute. Stop, we need to talk more about my crush named Kim Hanbin.

Today is day 45 since we knows each other. I mean i know him, but we barely talk. All i did is stare at his back during class, or exchanging glances on hallways, or just bowing to each other. But, i still like him, no matter it is, he’s still the one for me.

High School

This is day 956. This is almost three years since we know each other, barely. He is in other class, but i still can see him. His friend, Jiwon and Yunghyeong stays in same class in me, but we never talk, i got no reason to talk to him. Im just a wallflower, nobody notices a wallflower for godsake.

Day 1024.

Today is so special, I actually talk to him because our classes, have decided to cooperate to do the same thing for sports day. We will be having a festival kind of things, so the kids decided to pick a representative. To everyone surprise, Im choosen. I hate teacher Kim to max but it suddenly become a good thing because he also choose Hanbin as other representative.

We get to talk to each other, i barely see his face, i mostly stare at my feet until he actually said.

“ Head up girl, i dont ever know your name.” Damn, he didnt listen when Mr. Kim called me?

And i realized, we’re the only people left in the classroom. I shudder. Why?

“ Where other people?” “ They already left minutes ago, Lets go, we need to buy all these things, and name please?” His voice is just alluring and i hate him at the moment.

“ Jae. Jaeshin. Let’s go”

Literally i walk behind slowly until suddenly i bump into his back. Head u he said and I see him smiling.

“ Head up Jae, you need to see the world to appreciate it.” Yeah, to appreciate you handsome face. I actually smile, it this people called a glimpse of heaven?

“ Where are we heading actually?” I asked, im tired of walking, no, im not, but i am afraid of my legs because with this Kim infront of me, im not sure how my legs will react further.

“ Arrived.” He put his hands on air and head to a small store and grab my hand out of nowhere. God. Tell me this is a dream. I still standing there.

“ Jae, we got no time, Palli.”

We strolled the every corner of the store and found some cute cups and plates to used for the festival. We even managed to get so much for a little budget, i bet we clicked well? Urgh.

I swear this one of the happiest moment since i was born. Im gladly you;re there Kim Hanbin.

Day 1050. Festival day.

Since the day we were pointed as the representative, we actually talk, like friends should. We actually managed to get lunch together too, me, and his friends too. Even his hoobae called Chanwoo is there, he’s cute and evil. We share drinks during the end of the festival because we got no more cup left. I know fate is fate. Destiny is destiny.

But happy things wont be there for me for a long time, i know it, because also, at the end of festival’s, Jiwon’s words break me into pieces.

“ Hyung, your girfriend is here.” And i saw a beautiful girl running to him. I smiled and left.

Day 1234. College entrance exam day.

We manage to talk. Of course i acted naturally but deep inside, i was in deep scarred position. But i cant even hate him, is this heaven or hell? I cant even answer that.

I think i saw him at the hall this morning, i just smile. Jinhwan talked to me about the bunch and i just keep saying yes even when i cant even brain what’s he’s talking about.

I did pretty well in the exam, im going to sleep right now. Goodnight.

Day 1500.

I went out to see what happen to the world. I barely left home during the winter break. All i did were streaming movies and dramas. Oh i dont have real friends. I dont have good friends to talk to. Im lacking there. Who wants a wallflower as a friend?

I walked into him again today. After a long time. Im planning to just ignore and hide, but he saw me and greet lightly.

“ Okay. Have a great holiday.” I said.

I was crying profusely. Sheet i swear the tears wont stop. The books will ripped eventually if i cry again.

Day 2000. Winter 2015

Hi, im here again. Years passed bye im still earning for you, im sorry but i never know how to un-love you. Kim Hanbin, saranghae.

Narrator.

Current time. Winter 2015

She walks quickly to catch the earliest bus to go to college. Today’s seem gloomy than usual. She seems okay. I mean she always thought she is okay. When the bus arrived, she hop on and say hi and smile to the bus driver. He smile back. Jung Jaeshin seems different, she’s much cheerful and stronger.

At the back of the bus, there is a boy watching her from afar. She just sit behind the first sit. She was listening to her phone and hop off at the university entrance. The boy hop off too, and walking off a few meters distance from her.

He knows her. He knows her very well. He watched her while smiling.

Bump. A car from nowhere actually hi that girl, the girl he was following. He stands there for seconds and the moment the situation hits his mind, he run, run for her.

“ Jung Jaeshin.” He screams for her life. The blood was terrified. Her white shirt turned red in seconds. He wipes those blood of the pale face, and her eyes blink slowly. “ Hanbin.”

“ No, dont talk. God, someone please help.”

Day 2100.

This is Kim Hanbin writing for you love.

Im still waiting for you.

Narrator

He cried. He cried the most he ever did in his life. Little did he knows, his play and waiting game turn into such a thing. The sadist thing ever happened.

He knows she watched her since in middle school.

He knows how she chuckled alone while writing and reading her books.

He knows she secretly went to his concerts on weekends during high school.

He knows she actually be there everytime for him

But still he cannot do anything because he’s afraid of losing again,

And no, he’s losing now.

And he’s writing his apology. God, save her, i love her.

Sincerely,

Kim Hanbin.

®


	2. Love, again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is waiting and trying look like?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love you, take care lovelies.

To love again is a blessing.

Kim Hanbin always be a number one visitor here. He comes here almost everyday. Every nurse on the floor knows him very well. He walks slowly towards room 404. Intensive care unit.

Patient Name : Jung Jaeshin

He greets the nurse, the doctors along the hallway, he give out a small smile and keep smiling. You need to be strong boy.

“ Hanbin hyung.” Junhoe greet him from a far. His friend, his dongsaeng is now a training here, in this town’s hospital.

“Oh hi. How’s Jae?” The same exact question everyday. I swear. I hate asking but i want a clear answer.

“ Good. As usual. See u later hyung. We need to talk later.” Junhoe leaves, he push the room’s door. A post-it-note was post there at the board near the bed.

“ Hanbin, take care of her today. Auntie going back to hometown for a wedding. – Love, Jung umma”

He smiles. Auntie knows him the most, out of all relatives. To be exact, even for a bit, now, every relative knows him for good. The one. The boyfriend? The love?

He grab a camera from his bag and motion in towards the bed.

“ Hi love, its day 2300. It such a beautiful day outside. I even bought tulips for you.” He hands the tulip to the vase beside the bed. He stares at the noiseless figure on the bed, he sit. He cries a river again.

Everyday is same for him. In the morning, going to office, do his job as a photographer and edit those pictures and end up in hospital room during the night. He goes home to change clothes . Mom do get angry sometimes, but she do comes with him few times.

His phone ring in the middle of photoshoot. He stop for a while. Its been a while since this phone ring for good. Its either job or hospital calls.

Jiwon calling. Oh.

“ Bob” He smile. He asks for the staff to rest for 15 minutes. He goes out of the studio for a while.

“ I got a suprise dude.” Lol this is so?

“ Whatttttttttttttttttt the heck? Chanwoo is going back soon, i think he just pass his second year.” He laugh. He knows Kim Jiwon is forever a Chanwoo- enemy.

“ Lol oh not that kid, i mean im going to get married to the love of ma life.” He smiles,

“You have to come, seriously. It will be nearby so dont worry. Okay bye. I need to tell others too.”

Jiwon get married? Urgh the bad boy finally surrender. And he still here waiting for a miracle to happen.

Midnight arrived. He just bid goodbye to Jae’s mom downstairs and here is he again. In room 404. Alone with Jae. He smiles. I wish we could talk even awkwardly like before. He take a book from his bag. Titled ‘ Fangirl’. He continues to read the last page he leave before. He reads until he drift into his slumber sleep and without his realization, he’s holding tight to Jae’s hand.

Jae opens her eyes. He was startled to see that. He want to cry again but she stops her. She puts her hands to his cheeks. Warming his cold cheeks. He smiles. Am i dreaming? He said and told himself he’s not. If this were a dream, he rather be here. As long as she’s here.

Tick. Tick.Tick.

“ Hyung.” A pat on his shoulders bring him to live again. Damn. He curse under his breath. He turns around to found June and Jiwon there, eyes blinking.

“ We need to talk Hanbin.”

“ Until when you gonna live like this.” Jiwon mutters slowly. He barely face his best friend. He cant, its too much to see his best friend’s puffy eyes, slightly long hair. Hobo kind of man which he never was.

“Until she wakes up Jiwon. I just cant give up on this one.” Seriously, why no one understands him, how come, how can he betray someone who loves him all the way till her last breath. He stands up, dont want to throw a fight with his friends,

“ Dont worry i will attend your wedding, I would cut my hair i would dress up. I would do, so dont worry dude. I need to go first, it almost noon, i have a job to attend this evening.” He raps his words, he never speak that much before. He’s tired. Tired.

He went home, went for a hot shower. He barely stand, and end up on the floor, hugging his knees. God, forgive me, Can you give her to me now? He swears, he’s going to be good to her.

He went to the usual florist. Today he got two bunch of tulips. One for Jae, another one for Jiwon’s bride, Kim Sara. He went to the wedding place earlier than the invitation.

Even the family members’ are suprised to see him.

“ You come son?” Jiwon’s mom greet him with such a smile. He smile back.

“ Jiwon’s there, exit, left.” He greets others lightly, with tulips in his hands, he walk to the left door. He knocks and enter. Jiwon standing there, back-facing him, wearing a big smile he can see from mirror’s reflection. He laughs. It has been a while since he actually laugh this much. He needs to.

“ Congrats pabo. I cant believe you’re settling down before me.” He chuckles, Jiwon come nearer, and hug him.

“ Gosh cheesy pabo. You even got me flowers? Wth?” Jiwon hug him tighter. Jiwon’s whisper.

“I know you’re strong Hanbin, Jae will acknowledge this.” He push him slowly.

“Gosh. This is for Sara not you.” He hears screams when the door opened again.

“HYUNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG WE MISS YOU”

Hugs here and there and a phone call dismiss all the noise. They point to his pocket.

Hanbin’s handphone. Called from hospital.

“She’s having a breakdown. She suddenly stop breathing but she’s okay now. I swear.” Jae’s mom crying voice break his heart. He stands there, almost lost his phone from his own hold.

“ Sorry Jiwon, give this to Sara. I really need to be there right now.” He hands the tulips and go.

He was crying throughout the whole driving course, from the wedding hall to the hospital. He slowly hit the pedal and runs to the destination.

When he arrives, he hugs Jae’s omma and say everything would be okay. He sit there all ther waiting for a miracle again.

NAarrator

Someone to actually reach her at the moment. Her eyes fluttered and open, is this even real? there's no one beside her, Have everyone give up on her? She close her eyes again to hear the door open. She was scared that the first person she see is not someone she really knows. Thats a bitter welcoming.

" Hi love." She gasps for air, is that even real. Someone called her love? Is he even real or is he has mistaken the room number, im pretty sure my face is common but did anyone have the same face like me in the hospital. She wait and wait, but the stranger hold her hands. She almost open her eyes, but she was scared. 

'Love im going down for a while." He said as she open her eyes and see the back of him. Seems familiar. She seriously have no idea on what going on until a nurse actually appears and scream. " God Jae you're awake finally."

JUNG JAESHIN

She run away from me. Jae? what day is it? i remember the last thing i ever see is bus to college. It supposed to be my second year of college.

The door opens again and this time few doctors come along with the nurse that screams my name and here, the familiar face behind them. Smiling. And here, she not believing her eyes. The doctors check the vital and everything and the Kim keep thanking them while smiling. Omg am i dreaming again.

" She's okay. Its a miracle you have been waiting for dear. God loves you two. Take care. We will check soon okay." The doctor leave and he pick up his phone whil waving at me as it was a routine he does. This is weird.

" Wait Love, i need to call mom." Mom?

" Yeah mom, she awake. oh no im not kidding. ofcourse do come now. okay bye." He smile again and now he's here pretending that we're okay all this time. but im not. Im not. He take my hand but i kinda take it back to my back.

" Oh hi hanbin, What are doing here?" I guess i asked , an obvious question. He smile, oh i hate that.

" Of course waiting for you love." i hit my cheek, he once again hold my hand and said NO.

" Ohgod JAe you're not dreaming im here kim hanbin is here for ya, can you smile for me." He almost scream his lung out. I smiled.

" This is weird." He chuckled. When he was about to hug me, my mom run into the door.

" OH jaeeeee my daughter." Hanbin take steps away and let her hug me.

" God thanks god for lending her again." Oh what drama is this.

I dont know what kind of drama is this but im happy to be here. To hear mom voice again and to see kim hanbin smiling there, upon this news.

Narrator

"Love. dont. I told ya dont. Its cold out there." She knows it was cold outside but she want to go, winter is almost over, but she still in her hospital gown. To acknowlegde that she spend the whole last year winter in this hospital and almost the whole this year winter at the same place made her suffocated. She need some outing.

" Just for ten minutes Hanbin, Ten." She shows her ten fingers. She laugh as the boy was running after her. She was eventually caught in a back hug. wuuu.

" God Hanbin stop, this is public for other's sake." He laughs as he plant a kiss on her cheeks. They laughed together. 

Today might be not the happiest day in their life, but it would marked on of the happy days in their calendar. The journey just start.

P/S : sorry im suck at writing. urgh im sorry but do enjoy bye.

Happy december. Happy whatever you're celebrating.

**Author's Note:**

> we rarely see Hanbin updates this year, hope everyone stay warm because i love you all, stay safe and stay warm. don't forget to wash your hands


End file.
